The Playa Mar is offered as a 4 star apartment hotel.
Located some 150+ metres from the beach (not the 50 metres in the brochures - why do they tell such pointless untruths?) and next to a large military base which hosts fire-fighting aircraft and holiday accommodation for servicemen.
Apart from the regular bugle calls one might expect and the occasional live firing of small arms, the base is very quiet and there is a walled perimeter which also encloses forested areas providing homes for various birds. Sometimes goats wander in and out of the base and across the main through road.
The reception and cleaning staff were friendly, helpful and courteous.
The air conditioned apartment was pleasant with reasonable furnishings and a medium sized balcony with garden chairs and table.
Sat TV included some UK channels.
Fresh towels and linen were provided frequently.
A safe is available at extra charge.
There are lifts in the 4 three storey blocks.
Playa Mar is at the very end of the famous 'Pine Walk' so allow half an hour each way for a casual walk to the centre (bus station, marina, taxi rank, Tourist Inf., and shops etc.) along the seaside path which is mainly a form of crazy paving.
So, the hotel is adequate and I would agree with the 4 star rating if the telephone kiosk in reception had worked at anytime during our fourteen days, the four computers for internet use were bug free, our early morning call had been on time and not 25 minutes late, the fridge door in the very narrow kitchen area had been hung the right way around, the bathroom door cleared the tiled floor (it was quickly fixed when pointed out) and the sliding windows more secure.
You may sense this is luke warm enthusiasm for a reasonably appointed hotel in a very lovely place but it is not the fault of the hotel building or staff.
We left the hotel as early as practicable and stayed out all day because of the constant ear shattering din.
It is advertised as a 'Family' hotel so children are to be expected and no complaint there, in fact the forty feet wide plastic crab in the pool gave a hint of what was to come.
I'm not trying to cure the world of all ills when I say that parents of pre-school children who keep them up all hours while they drink the 'all inclusive' beer are doing them no favours.
Tired children will react in various ways including screaming loudly and stamping about the place.
Therefore 'shows' for children starting at 9.30pm are likely to stress them further.
Here is a sample of the childrens' entertainment:
Rep (shouting through a mike at full volume with very loud music behind): 'What's your name?'
Rep: 'Hello Loraine'.
Rep: 'Let's all say hello to Loraine'
All: 'Hello, Loraine'
Rep: 'I couldn't hear you - louder!'
All: 'HELLO LORAINE'
Couldn't hear? The whole of the 'king Balearics could hear - at least until the Rep started shouting, now they are all deaf and the military base are priming mortars to shut them up.
The road was re-surfaced during our stay and the sound of drills and machinery was a welcome change to the shouting and screaming.
Even the live firing was a help.
What must the locals think of this bedlam? The guests are mostly British.
However, as I say, it is a beautiful area.
Extremely expensive if you are not on a special deal with Cackophony Tours.
You will pay anything up to €4 for a loaf of bread and everything else seems to be €2.50 per very small quantity.
Inland the prices fall somewhat.
Best value? The Chinese Restaurant on the first floor opposite the bus station.
€18 for two people including a salad with a dressing you have to taste before murdering a Rep and serving life imprisonment.