Here's a little nugget I came across.
If you need to report a crime at a police station in Spain, they will want the report in Spanish, which could mean you have to hire an interpretor... if there's one around!
But if you dial this number: (International call code at the front if using a UK mobile)
(00 34) 902 102 112
you will go through to a call centre in Madrid, where the Police will take your report in English, and fax it through to the local police station for you to collect.
Which in Spain has about as much chance of working as....
But maybe worth a shot if you fall foul.